There are many different types of abuse. While the more common forms include domestic violence, child abuse and emotional abuse, any behaviour towards someone that causes deliberate harm or upset can be considered abuse.
“Violence is a choice a man makes, and he alone is responsible for it.”
Patrick Stewart, Actor
Physical abuse is causing intentional harm or injury to another person through violence or physical contact. Anyone can be affected by physical abuse. The abuser can be any person from within the victim’s environment including family members, partners or friends. Physical abuse can include, but is not limited to:
- Hitting or hurting someone – often to relieve own frustration
- Breaking down a person’s self confidence
- Not listening
- Forcing someone to touch you
- Neglecting a person’s medical or care needs
- Leaving a vulnerable person unsupervised
- Sexual abuse
- Throwing objects.
“We must send a message across the world that there is no disgrace in being a survivor of sexual violence, the shame is on the aggressor.”
Angelina Jolie, Actress, Filmmaker, Humanitarian
- Does your partner act jealously when you talk to others, even your friends?
- Does your partner criticise what you do, what you wear, and who your friends are?
- Do you feel that your opinion is neither important nor welcome in your relationship?
- Are you pressurised by your partner into drinking more alcohol than you want?
- Does your partner control your body in small ways such as holding you too tight, pulling you around by the hand, and ignoring you when you pull away?
- Does your partner become angry or violent easily?
- Are you forced into sexual activity you don’t want?
- Does your partner call you insulting names?
- Does your partner tell degrading jokes just to upset you?
- Does your partner show interest in others just to upset you?
- Are you or someone close to you threatened physically by your partner?
If you can answer yes to any of the above questions, then you may be in an abusive relationship or if you do these things you may be acting abusively.
There are often problems with taking responsibility for abusive behaviour. Often the victim will assume blame and the abuser may adopt a “poor me” stance.
Our work together
My approach will be different with each client involved in domestic abuse/violence, as I tailor each session to your unique experiences. Often domestic abuse/violence is something that is witnessed— for instance, a child or someone else in the home who saw the abuse occur. Survivors may be out of their abusive relationship but still experiencing lingering effects of trauma, such as nightmares or flashbacks.
You may not even recognise that you are in an abusive relationship because that type of relationship may be “normal” for you. You might assume that the term abuse should be applied only if a spouse or intimate partner has hurt you physically. Normalising, accepting, denial, keeping the peace, blaming yourself, using drugs or alcohol are all methods people use as coping strategies when abused. I will gently work with you at your own pace in recognising psychological, verbal or other non-physical forms of abuse.
Additional Areas of counselling I work with:
- Affairs and betrayal
- Anger management
- Pre-Bereavement, Bereavement
- Carer support
- Child related issues
- Chronic boredom
- Domestic violence
- Drug and alcohol abuse (Substance misuse)
- Eating disorders
- Elderly issues
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Financial concerns/ debt
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Historical abuse
- Intrusive thoughts
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- Panic disorder
- Passive aggressive behaviour
- Physical abuse
- Pregnancy and birth
- Separation and divorce
- Sex problem
- Suicidal thoughts
- Wedding nerves
- Work-related stress